How stupid I am

I am pity of myself sometimes.

I am so kind to people although they aren't. 

I  forgive people although they don't.

I will cry for some people although they won't.

I miss people I love although they don't.

How stupid I am.

Writer's Block

Last few days I read an article about writer's block.

And I started to think that I am a writer's block.

Writer's block is a person who always cancels his decision to write something.

Then he makes a justification for himself with a reason : I AM BUSY, man!

Oh wow, the justification is not right. Because in writing world, there is no reason you are busy or what. Do write! Just sit and type in front of your monitor for 5 minutes. Is it difficult to do, they asked.

Haha that's of course true. If you have that will. That 'eager' to write. Then you'll write.

If you truly in love with writing, you can not stop your finger from typing a word.

You will write no matter what happened.

But, the problem is what are you writing in 5 minutes?

I think to write something valuable, you have to think how to make your writing becomes interesting to other.

I can write in 5 minutes. But what will I say?

"Hello, how are you?"

Just that? 

That's why writing is not that easy. 

So I am fine with this writer's block.

And I will only and only write if I want to. 

Haha. I know I am selfish. Hope one day, I am not.

Tonight's dreaming

Tonight again I am thinking...

dreaming about what I really want in life.

I want to graduate quickly.

Continue a master or a doctoral degree.

Work in a multinational company.

Earn much money.

Very much money.

I will have a big house...

With a large swimming pool maybe.

So I can swim in the morning before I go to work.

I will have a good and smart husband.

A son and a daughter will complete it.

Have vacation in some great places with my parents.

Do contribution for orphanages and churches.

Have fun...

Happy life...

Perfect dream...

What a dream...

I will live in a luxurious life.

Get anything I want easily.

Fulfil anyone's wishes in a second.

I will give my brother anything.

Let my sisters get what they want.

By my money!

It is okay. If they use my money.

I will work twice or trice harder than before.

Then get alot of money. 

A lot lot lot lot of money...

For a happy life, for sure.

For sure...

For sure...?

Really, is this what I want?

I am not sure now.

Will I be happy in this kind of happy life?

I don't even now why people tell this happiness.

While I am thinking about this, tonight...

I just feel emptiness.

Hollowness.

Nothing more.

And I again force myself.

Search for the happiness part.

I try to imagine my parents smile. People smile.

Are they really happy?

Now I am asking if I can make them happy.

I realize that I have make some untrue illusion.

Just to find a reason that what I thought I want is right.

But that's a lie.

That's a lie, so I can receive this kind of happy life.

The truth is I am not happy.

Or I dont know if my parents are happy or not.

I just forced myself...

To think that wealth, greatness, and reputation is everything I need.

No I don't want a life like that.

Gathering with my family in healthy condition is a wonderful thing.

Seeing my brother and sister get achievement in their field is a pleasant.

I am happy now. 

Live my daily life is more than a happiness.

Achievements, wealth, reputation, everyone's wants it.

But not one of those can make sure you are happy.

And I...

Yes I want to reach those.

But not for my happiness or people's.

Only for God's glory.

So, what is exactly I really want in life?

Love...

I just need love.

Because love is bigger than anyhing.

And love never fails.

And will I be happy?

I am always grateful for small mercy.

I am grateful for my life.

Good Looking and Ugly

Egrith : Kak ny, people said that ugly person will be with good-looking one whereas the good looking will be with the ugly.

Kak Eny: yes.

Egrith: So I guess you will have a very handsome husband then because you are very very ugly.

Kak Eny: Yaiy! Thank you grith. I think the same to you!!!! 

Egrith: .........

Hell-O Hell-O How are you?

hello buddy!

Lama banget gak nulis lagi di blog ini. Sekarang aku kumatan, kalo lagi mood nulis. Kalo gak mood yah gak nulis.

Padahal lho itu salah. Kalo kata temanku sih, "nulis itu gak boleh setengah-setengah, grith. Luangkan aja waktu sekitar 5 menit untuk nulis sesuatu."


 Makasih temanku udah ingatin, I miss you by the way!

Tapi ya gimana dong, banyak tugas sih. Yang berat sih organisasi-organisasi ini. Harus komitlah. Buku-buku banyak yang ngantri untuk dibaca. Nah, blog terabaikan deh.

Yaudah semoga aku bisa ngatur waktu buat semuanya. Mudah-mudahan aku juga rajin nulis mulai sekarang. Hahaha. Mudah-mudahan.

God bless you